I hope you can help me with my problem before it completely destroys my life. The problem is that every time I go to bed I start imagining that there are bad and dangerous people lurking under the bed. I know it can’t be true but the fear just grows and grows until it overwhelms me and I have to get out of the bed to keep from going crazy. Besides being totally worn out from lack of sleep I am nearly destitute from the expense of psychiatrists and remedies. Please, do you know anywhere that I can turn for help? I am at my wits end.
Dear Wits End,
Stop throwing your money away on psychiatrists and go to the hardware store. Buy yourself a saw and then go home and saw the legs off that bed. There ain’t no bad things going to be able to get under it when there are no legs on it.